Biggest Tomato (plant) ever.

I wonder if any of you read a book called "The Biggest Pumpkin Ever" by Steven Kroll.
In this book from my childhood, two field mice fall in love with the same pumpkin.
One imagines winning the harvest festival with glee in his eyes, While the other is thinking about the awesome jack-o'-lantern this pumpkin will make come Halloween.
Unbeknownst to each other they both start to fertilize the hell out of said pumpkin.
The pumpkin gets huge!! They discover each other in a "but I! but you!" moment while out tending to it one night and have a huge laugh.
Of course it wins the autumn harvest and the night before Halloween it is carved into the biggest, best jack-o'-lantern ever to be seen for miles around.

So goes the story.
One day there were some Black Russian Tomato seedlings. They had just moved home and were stretching their legs in a new pot. Two humans fell in love with these plants. So green were the leaves..thought one human. So tangible was the promise of vines laden with tomatos..thought the other. Unbeknownst to each other they both started to fertilize the hell out of said tomatoes.
Now this is where the story diverts from the original.
We have green leaves..Lots and lots of them. But vines laden with ripening tomatoes?
NAY! Instead we have this monstrosity. It has blossom drop and is currently 7.6 foot tall.  So right now I have a Shaquile o'neil plant.. if was Shaquile o'neil was a eunuch.